Amelia, a pseudonymous married, heterosexual woman, is the mother of a number of children, the oldest of whom is 7 years old and self-identifies as gay. Amelia blogs about her relationship to her son on Huffington Post. She wrote:
On August 16 I learned what viral meant. I wrote an essay about my oldest son and his love of a popular gay television character, Glee’s Blaine, and how this crush led to him telling me he wanted to kiss boys, not girls. I naively posted it to a blog, thinking some fans of the show might think it was cute. Within 24 hours it had been reposted and “liked” over 30,000 times on the blog’s website. It wasn’t long before messages started flooding in, other websites began posting it and people were commenting. The response was overwhelming positive. What I thought was a simple story about my kid and our family had clearly stuck a chord with a lot of people. It also made some people uncomfortable.
Now, motivated in part by negative feedback, her husband, Dave (also a pseudonym), has written a moving and affirming blog post about their son, too.
Parents who ‘get’ it.
Can I say though (having read Amelia’s blog over the last year, and been infuriated by some of the commenters)—I am SO utterly sick of the pretend-accepters…the people who don’t want to come off as being homophobic so what they settle for is “I don’t believe kids this age can know their sexual preference.” Yeah, bite me… These are the people who every time their six year old Johnny stands next to a girl, they make jokes, “Is that your girlfriend?” What they mean is that they have decided that they will—oh so painfully—“accept” that some people “think” they’re gay…but at some level of their being, they find the idea of LGBTQ so unacceptable that—clearly—it’s something a person wouldn’t want to admit to the outside world until they absolutely have to. That the idea of being LGBTQ is so hateful and shameful, that a person would keep that quiet. They have no idea that THEY are the problem. That these parents with their calm acceptance of their child’s professed choice are doing what every parent does when their kid expresses interest in someone—be it the opposite gender or their own. If I was madly in love with Danny Stuart in Grade 1, why can’t some boy know that he was in love with another boy? Because we’re all supposed to understand that any feelings toward the opposite gender are normal, and if we have feelings to our own, then we should be confused by them? Because they shouldn’t feel right? Because we should say, “What is this strange feeling of excitement around other girls or boys?” Ugh.
Had an “energetic” discussion with someone in my life who kept explaining that she would “accept” if a family member turned out to be gay (he is, so this will be fun!) and would even accept him turning up at family gatherings with a partner—but that she would expect that they never show physical affection in front of her as that would be “disgusting”. Yeah… Kept going, too, for the default explanation, “I love him, so I will accept him IF this turns out to be the situation, but, really, we don’t WANT him to be gay…” To my raised eyebrows, she explained, “Well, because it’s so hard for them. I wouldn’t want them to have a hard life.”
Which is the OTHER thing allegedly accepting people say that makes me want to smack them. Is it hard to be LGBTQ in today’s world? Absolutely. Utterly. Yes. But, ye gods people!! So are a LOT of things. (this would be the same person who, upon finding out that I was having a lot of troubles in my last pregnancy told me that she thought it would be “smarter” of me to abort the baby rather than “risk” having a child with any problems…because it would be so “hard” for the child to be alive).
rant done. Not thorough…but enough for now.
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